“My mother married my father when she was just eighteen. Now, while they’re still together, working day to day for their four children, I see the bags under her eyes. I see the stress weighing on her shoulders as she hunches down in her seat. I see her desperate to keep her kids happy while she can barely manage to understand them. My father works a ten hour shift, six days a week. My mother is in bed, asleep, before he even gets home. That’s one day a week they are afforded each other, and they barely spend it together. He grocery shops, and she doesn’t care to join. She stays home to clean the house. And I’ve always jumped into relationships too fast, whether or not it was with someone I had romantic feelings for or just trusting those around me. And it’s never worked out in my favor. I’ve been lied to, used, kept waiting, my trust has been broken countless times, and I’ve cried too many tears over people who hardly gave a damn about me when I’d have given them the world.
What I mean, what I’m trying to say is, I am afraid to love. I am afraid to step into wet concrete and either get stuck, or leave my mark in a place it shouldn’t be. I don’t want to rush into something and then watch it fizzle out like I’ve experienced countless times. My mother was married at eighteen, and if that and her tired eyes have taught me anything, it’s that what feels right in a moment may not be what you’ve always needed. So I keep that in mind, because if I give you all of me right now, there might be nothing left for later.”
“If you ever find yourself drunk and thinking about me, then hungover the next awful morning and still thinking about me, don’t forget to remember the time you fucked with my head and didn’t think twice.”
— Kayla Kathawa - still doesn’t think twice about me. sober, drunk, and hungover are [three] different things (via kbfoto)